I have recently retired, and plan to refocus my life on several things. Refocus on my relationship with God, on my marriage, my children, on creativity, on improving my health, etc. Thinking about my marriage, Ephesians 5:25 showed up in a new way.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” (Ephesians 5:25)
As Christians we have all read this passage and have heard sermons preached on it. But have we really heard what it is saying, or did it just bounce off like so many sermons we hear or passages of scripture we read? Paul is telling us to love our wife as Christ loved the church. And how did Christ love the church? He forgives us for anything we do, even for crucifying Him. He eventually dies for us. He loves us and forgives us as we are nailing Him to the cross to suffer and die.
CS Lewis in his book titled “The Four Loves” points this aspect of marital love out. It is not some lightweight love we are supposed to show our wives. We are to love them and forgive them and give our life for them even if they are the worst wife ever in recorded history. CS Lewis goes so far as to say that the worse a wife is, the more Christ-like a husband can be.
The book of Hosea comes to mind, where we read that God commands Hosea to live in accordance with this level of love and forgiveness for his wife. He even has Hosea go buy her away from the man she is living with after she left him. Are we loving our wives and giving our life for them on this level, as Paul is directing us to do? If not, why not? What is holding us back? Do we even see our role in our marriage in this way? How do we see our role in our marriage?
Looking at the rest of the book of Hosea, we also see the need for repentance from sin and idolatry, and God’s desire for us to return to Him. Could it be that we are not loving our wives as Christ loved the church because we have lost sight of God and are serving false gods? What are some of the ways that you have drifted away from God? In what ways are you following Him daily? What can you do to follow Jesus more closely each day? What sin do you need to repent of? What idol(s) do you need to destroy in your life?
Regarding our love for our wife, what can you do this week to show your wife that you love her as Christ loved the church? What can you do today to show her this level of love?
Lord Jesus, I come before you today and ask that You convict me of my sin and bring me to repentance that I may follow You more closely. Help me to turn away from the idols in my life, and to turn towards You. Show me ways that I can love my wife as Christ loved the church. Let the knowledge of Your forgiveness of my sin drive me to find ways to show this level of love towards my wife. I pray these things in Jesus name, amen.
Resources:
Tim Keller Sermon Series on Marriage
Two Rivers Blog 